Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Please don't give away my fajitas
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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