I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
