actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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