Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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