go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
