Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
