I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
