And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
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I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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