I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
