we have officially lost it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
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Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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