Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
