There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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