We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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