I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.