Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!

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(480): View more from Arizona

He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again

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(757): View more from Virginia

Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.

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(317): View more from Indiana

He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?

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