No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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