Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Screwed.edu
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
