so that wasnt chicken after all
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
