Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
