my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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