totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
