I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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