Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You smell like stripper and shame
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
