you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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