Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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