Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize