i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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