I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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