so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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