...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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