It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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