A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
