The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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