You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
