I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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