He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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