I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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