Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
