I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
