the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
