Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Randomize
