He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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