Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
