Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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