Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
