i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize