Princesses don't give blow jobs
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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