On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
