no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
