I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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