its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
