respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
