you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
