Me too!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
