Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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