i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
