"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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