I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
