Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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