So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
