Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
