I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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