Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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