we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
