The maid of honor just puked.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
