Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
