i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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